Gold Coast, Australia
New stories update on 24 March 2012
New stories update on 24 March 2012
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A Work In Progress offers real life inspiring stories on
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Quick Links to Stories:
A Note for You from Graham and BevEco Islanding if we don't ask, we don't get (seek and you shall find out)
Equal Rights = Equal Responsibility just give me poached eggs and hold the rules
Imagination is Free Separation - what effect on children, who to love Mum or Dad?
Leave your Mark our enduring worth
Love is Stronger than death how love is timeless and forever
My New Best Friend is your button in the "Press Here to Start" position?
Timing is Everything how do we know when the time is right?
NEW To Have or Not to Have is that a question?
Equal Rights = Equal Responsibility
...just give me poached eggs on
cornbread please and hold the rules
I came home from work before Christmas and there they were - beautiful, long-stemmed red roses with buds slightly open and a wonderful fragrance. An unexpected gift of love. Later in the quiet, I thought of times I have woken on a Sunday morning with Graham's face smiling above spring colours of flowers inches from my eyes and he says: "I want you to know you are 'well loved'". Moments to treasure from my hero. In his busy, often pressured "man's life" he remembers his love for me. Do I deserve it? Most days, hopefully, but I have "moments??!!" He says he doesn't need much only my love and respect but I know he needs food, clean clothes, a good car, deodorant, likes his shave gel and, an Aussie must-have: Vegemite - and I can't get by without my stuff either.
We've talked about relationships and how to build trust. I read somewhere to forget words like "leaving" "divorce" and words in the heat of a disagreement which break rather than make a marriage and, in time, misunderstandings have disappeared. Graham says most people don't know what a good relationship looks like. I guess its where there's co-operation of spirit and not a contest of wills.
I have times where I feel overwhelmed and off-balance and I need Graham, as much as humanly possible, to love and forgive me while still expecting my respect and consideration.
My fav book advises:-
"A nagging (quarrelsome) spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky tap; You can't turn it off and you can't get away from it." (The Message: Proverbs 27:15)
Does this mean a relentless, negative irritation? I confess early years, in ignorance, trying this approach which didn't work.
"... each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband." (NIV: Ephesians 5:33)
A reminder for a man to "love" 'cause that's tough sometimes and for a woman to "respect" 'cause that's her challenge.
Someone asked me the other day: How do you get him (Graham) to do that? The answer is I don't "get" him to do anything. He does it by choice because I make it my priority to respect him, his opinions and ideas. I look to help him and in a spirit of co-operation, without me expecting anything back, he wants to respect, love and offer help and isn't that what everyone wants? The equal right to be valued and listened to.
Women want equal rights but, unfortunately, frequently I see around me they don't want it for men. They want men to treat them with "respect" and "priority" but they don't give the man respect and his needs are not their priority. They talk about what men "should be" doing but they wouldn't do it themselves. They don't walk their talk. A reminder for me not to expect perfection from Graham which I can't deliver myself.
Recently at a cafe a contrast stared me literally in the face. This lady-waitress couldn't understand Aussie women (me) who "allow" men (Graham) to order the food first when she believed it was a woman's right to order first. She would "dis" (disrespect/walk away/insult) a man who ordered his food first. We found ourselves, annoyingly, explaining why we did this - to a complete stranger. We will never go there for breakfast again! Her rule is for a man to "let" a woman order first but I take time to make up my mind so why shouldn't the bloke order? For us it's simple: whoever knows first, goes first. This lady-waitress then said with an attitude of "sacrifice" that she'd finally agreed to take the name of her partner of the last few years. Kinda like she's gonna give something up not gain something. Good luck with that one!
Truthfully, I'd just like poached eggs on toasted cornbread with mushrooms on the side please and hold all the rules. My man, well, he knows what he wants and goes for it. He's having poached eggs on cornbread with avocado on the side and we'll trade off mushroom with avocado - we share - with respect, love and lots of laughing and those principles work for us. Together forever. Thankfully, we've left behind "rules" we learned by rote (habit) rather than reason.
Where's the honesty? Can we give it but not take it? If we want responsible men then what about respecting their important view - a man's view? How can it be equal rights if I disrespect his right to plan and decide what to do with the money he's earned: cars need tyres this week - not kids need clothes, etc? I never thought I'd need anybody but I love the "man" perspective and adventure and balance Graham offers in my life. His ideas and thought-provoking comments bring me back to the high ground if I'm heading into a ditch.
I don't want equal 'cause I'd rather be different. I asked this 11 year old kid standing next to his Dad: Are you like your Dad? He thought for 1 second and said (politely with a grin): No, I'm like me. Thanks little man for giving me hope in the future and thanks to his Mum and Dad for building the man inside the boy.
I don't have to understand everything Graham does and thinks and he doesn't have to "get" all of me. We're different. Maybe in time we'll understand but, if not - so what?
I don't see a great divide between men and women but only knowing and not knowing what works. Once I didn't know - now I know a little and I'm still learning. What do I prefer? I prefer freedom that comes from truth and knowing what I need to do to make it work for us together with a foundation-stone of God who always reminds me of who I am and not who others want me to be.
...woken
on Sunday morning with ... spring colours of flowers inches from my eyes
Beauty is
Worth Preserving
Quote
from the film "Miss Potter" on the life of Beatrix Potter, a best-selling children's book
author who donated 4,000 acres of land she purchased in the Lake District to the National Trust
for people to enjoy. We visited and saw this beautiful, natural landscape which is only there because
a woman stood side by side with men to preserve its great beauty. She "walked her talk".
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We all have lots in common and it's great that people around the world visit our website.
Email us if you have something to share - we will respect your personal privacy.
Click on the email tab below.
Email contact address is:
bev@aworkinprogress.com.au.
© 2012 Copyright www.aworkinprogress.com.au. Stories by Bev D. Photos by Graham D. Website by Bev D. The Authors, Graham and Bev, assert the moral right to be identified as the Authors of this work. No part of this website may be reproduced and published without the prior written permission of the Authors. All rights reserved.
© 2012 Copyright www.aworkinprogress.com.au. Stories by Bev D. Photos by Graham D. Website by Bev D. The Authors, Graham and Bev, assert the moral right to be identified as the Authors of this work. No part of this website may be reproduced and published without the prior written permission of the Authors. All rights reserved.